Of Memories and Milestones

My child started 2nd grade this year– 2nd grade! He’s a bright and vibrant 7 year old with a stubborn streak a mile long, and sweetness that will melt even the most bitter of hearts. I love going to ‘meet the teacher’ night and seeing how excited he gets when he walks through those doors at school. So confident and filled with hope and wonder– he loves his school.

I remember when they started kindergarten; it wasn’t quite as easy then. They were nervous, but still excited. I was so happy to see them meet their new kindergarten teacher, find their cubby, and put their school supplies away. I walked with them to the play area where Mrs. T was taking pictures of all the kiddos so the parents could see how much they changed over the year. I watched them look around anxiously as other children milled around with their parents. The really cool thing about their kindergarten room– it was the very same room their daddy went to kindergarten in 38 years earlier. We live in the house my husband grew up in, so our kid goes to the same school Cameron and his sisters went to.

I looked around at the other parents wondering if I would recognize any of them and noticed many of them had tears in their eyes. I overheard a few of the women saying things like, “I can’t believe my baby is all grown up! I’m so sad she is starting school! I wish I could stop time. She is growing too fast!” I have heard this echoed many times from many parents over that last few years. Although I understand, I don’t feel the same way. Yes, my child IS growing up fast, but instead of being sad about it? I’m ecstatic! I was given 15 months to live when I was diagnosed with mesothelioma. My baby was 3 1/2 months old at the time. If I had not sought out the radical surgery and treatments I had, I would not have been alive to see his 2nd birthday let alone his first day of kindergarten, first grade, and 2nd grade! I was not supposed to be alive to see my baby grow up and celebrate his 7th birthday or my 43rd birthday for that fact!

These milestones, which some people just take for granted, are ones I celebrate with gusto. We all get older and know that our kids will have many more first days of school and many more firsts of different kind– first date, first partner, first kiss (although I am hoping those are a LONG way away)– but I will even celebrate those. So instead of getting choked up about how fast they are growing, or lamenting the fact that I’m getting older, I do quite the opposite. BRING IT ON! I want to grow old. I love those little lines around my eyes and, if I didn’t bleach my hair white, I would even welcome the gray hair I know is there.

It is a very different mindset I have now. After being given a veritable death sentence almost 7 years ago, these memories of firsts are sweet and the milestones that much sweeter. So, the next time your child seems to be growing up too fast or you need to renew your drivers license because 4 years has passed, don’t moan about growing older. Embrace it because the alternative is not that great. Life is grand and being here and present in it is simply wonderful.